The God Box Read online

  Francis birdbath in the front yard to welcome any passing creature. Angie was a little crazy when it came to animals, trying to save them from themselves, from each other, and from humans. One time, it was a squirrel jolted by an electric line; another time, a frog trapped in a swimming pool.

  At least once a month I helped her take some critter to the vet to have it mended or healed. Every tree in her yard had a carefully placed birdhouse, and each morning and evening she fed a gathering of strays. “Be careful," I'd tease her, "or you'll grow to be some kooky old cat lady who smells like tuna. “In truth I admired her a lot--her strength and kindness. At times her heart seemed bigger than all of Texas. Tonight, after I helped her dish out the dog and cat food, replenish the water bowls, and fill the bird feeders, we had dinner with her mom and dad: veggie burgers, tomatoes, corn chips, and zucchini. (Naturally, Angie was a vegetarian, refusing to eat

  "anything that has a face.")14After we had finished eating and loaded the dishwasher, we went to Angie's room and listened to the CD I'd given her in homeroom, each of us saying which songs we liked best. As we listened, Angie sat at her computer; a cat perched on her lap, and researched a passage from the Gospel of John for our Christ on Campus meeting the following day. Each group member rotated leading our Bible studies, and tomorrow was Angie's turn. Meanwhile, I lay on the carpet and worked on my homework for AP English: a report on Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, which I'd had to read over the summer. I was writing about the lead characters and how Miss Bennet's stubborn prejudice contrasted with Mr. Darcy's obnoxious pride. Suddenly Angie announced, "We should invite Manuel. “At the mention of his name, my stomach gave a lurch. Ever since choir practice I'd managed to put him out of my mind. Now he suddenly barged in again, and all of my anxiety along with him. “To Bible Club tomorrow," Angie clarified. "Let's invite him. “I glanced up at her. "You serious? “Sure. Why not? “Why not}" I sat up on the carpet. "Because, duh He says he's gay! “So?" Angie continued scrolling through the web page she was studying. "He said he's a Christian. “I let my pen drop. "And I suppose if he were a serial killer who claimed to be Christian you'd want to invite him too?" Angie pursed her lips a moment, thinking. "Yeah. Maybe. Didn't Jesus reach out to everyone--especially people whom others wanted nothing to do with? “I folded my arms across my chest. “I don't recall Jesus ever reaching out to anyone gay. “Well," Angie retorted, "I don't recall Jesus reaching outto any American teenage boys either--or people in a thousand other categories. “I frowned, annoyed--

  and stumped--by her logic. “Besides," Angie continued, "not every single soul Jesus reached out to is listed in the Gospels. And how do we know that some of the people who are mentioned weren't gay?" She reached down and nudged my shoulder. "Hey, come on. The poor guy is new.

  He doesn't have any friends. Remember Matthew Twenty-five? 'I was a stranger and you welcomed me ... As you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.'"Among our group we often quoted Scripture. But Angie had a particular knack for citing verses that made you feel like a hardhearted creep if you argued against them. “He’s going to get his butt kicked," I grumbled, "When the word gets out he's gay. “All the more reason"--Angie returned her attention to the computer screen--"he needs us as friends. “While she continued preparing her Bible study, I tugged nervously at my wristband. I knew that when Angie made up her mind about something, there was no stopping her. Inside my head I tried to picture Manuel at our Bible Club. How could we discuss Holy Scripture with someone avowedly homosexual in our midst? How would Elizabeth and the others react? And where would all this lead? The words of Second Corinthians rang in my brain: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. Except that Manuel claimed he was a believer. I tried to go back to my homework paper but couldn't concentrate.

  "I've got to go." I gathered my stuff off the carpet and stood up. Angie gazed over from the computer, giving me a curious look. "You okay?" "Yeah." I felt too mixed-up to reveal what was really going on. "Call you later, okay? “Walking home, I tried to sort out my feelings, most of all my annoyance at Angie. Manuel wasn't some injured baby possum fallen from a tree. Why was she so interested in him? When I got home, my pa was in the kitchen on the phone with his girlfriend and drinking a glass of buttermilk. At forty-one, he had begun to show his age. When Ma had died five years earlier from cancer, his mustache had started to gray and little lines had started forming at the corners of his eyes. A year ago he had met Raquel, and she began patiently courting him. Even before Ma's death Pa had been kind of an introvert. He worked in landscaping and had always seemed more at ease with plants than with people. Raquel seemed good for him. I liked her. After Pa hung up, we talked for a few minutes, and then I headed to my room. I tossed my backpack onto the bed and checked my computer. An IM from VetGirl-888 (Angie) awaited me: Guess what? Did you ever notice that John is the only Gospel with the story of the woman at the well? Or the woman taken in adultery? That story isn't even in any of the earliest versions of John. Angie was always coming up with little known factoids like that. Really? I asked, glad to take my thoughts off Manuel. Cool, huh? Angie replied. Doesn't it make you wonder how many other Gospel stories failed to make the cut? I wondered if she was going to harp again on whether some Bible characters were secretly gay. Suddenly, another message popped up, and little blisters of sweat exploded on my forehead. The IM was from Get Real_ BeReahji2: Sup amigo? Enjoyed meeting u and ur chick friends. C ya tomorrows.I stared at the message, my stomach churning.

  Why on earth had I given him my screen name? Should I respond now? He hadn't asked for a response. Better not. Nevertheless, I added him to my buddy list. I tried working on my Pride and Prejudice paper some more, in and around messaging Angie. But I didn't tell her about Manuel's IM. I guess I didn't want to get into it again with her. Around midnight I readied for bed and got on my knees to pray, as I did every night. I started by giving thanks for my pa, Angie, and all the blessings in my life. Then, as usual, I reviewed my day. Since God obviously hadn't made Manuel lose my screen name, I wasn't sure what to pray about that. “Again, forgive me, Lord, for giving Manuel my info ..."But then Angie's words crossed my mind--about reaching out to Manuel--and made me feel all tangled up inside. Unable to sort it out, I simply added him to my prayer list of people. I climbed into bed, hoping that would be the end of it. But his face wouldn't leave me, as I pictured him in the cafeteria, reaching out to me with his big full-on smile.

  Chapter 4

  MY SECOND MORNING OF SENIOR YEAR,I HIT SNOOZE ON MY ALARM ABOUT A

  MILLION TIMES. BY NOW WORD ABOUT THE NEW GUY AT SCHOOL BEING GAY

  HAD SURELY SPREAD LIKE WILDFIRE. AND WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF HE DID

  COME TO BIBLE CLUB? NOT WANTING TO THINK ABOUT IT, I PULLED THE

  COVERS OVER MY HEAD AND PLUNGED BACK TO SLEEP."Mijo, you're going to be late," Pa said, shaking my foot.All my life he'd woken me up like that, as though I were some tree he'd planted and he wanted to make sure it had taken root. It was kind of annoying, mostly because after that I could never fall back to sleep.Reluctantly, I got up and slogged through my shower, double-tasking with prayers. As I approached school, my stomach burbled with anxiety at the prospect of seeing Manuel. I imagined pandemonium, with people hurling insults at him and throwing things. Yet amazingly, when I arrived at homeroom, Manuel and Angie sat chatting and smiling, as normal as could be. And none of the other students were giving them weird or scornful looks.Why weren't people freaking out? Hadn't the news spread19about Manuel's announcement? Or was it no big deal after all? Maybe students in our small town were simply too shocked to believe a classmate would openly admit to being gay.As I stepped warily between the desks, Manuel grinned at me, and a ray of sun shone across his wavy hair.My morning classes blurred past without incident. I handed in my halfhearted Pride and Prejudice report, and my class discussed how pride and prejudice stand in the way of relationships. I didn't pay much attention. I was too preoccupied, worrying if Manuel would s
it with us again at lunch.When I got to the cafeteria, my three "chick friends" (as Manuel had called them) were already at our table. I set my tray down just as Elizabeth asked Angie, "That new guy isn't going to sit with us from now on, is he?""I don't know." Angie calmly sipped her carton of apple juice."Because if he is"--Elizabeth stabbed her fork into a batter-fried shrimp--"I can't sit with y'all anymore.""But he's so cute!"

  Dakota grinned. For a Christian, she could look surprisingly devilish. "Why don't you want him to sit with us?""You know why." Elizabeth glowered at her. "Because he's living in sin."I sat down and quietly dug into my lasagna, anxious to see where the conversation would go.Angie stared across the table at Elizabeth and quoted Romans: '"All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.'""Yes, I do know that, thank you. But he's unrepentant.""So, do you want to tell him not to sit here?" Dakota asked.Elizabeth wiped her hands with a napkin. "I'm not the one who invited him in the first place."From across the lunchroom, I noticed Manuel approaching our table and murmured to our group, "Here he comes."20"Hey." Manuel smiled. "Is it okay if I sit with you guys again?"Elizabeth darted a look of disapproval at us. A batter crumb was sticking to her pale pink lipstick.Angie turned away from her and told Manuel, "Of course.""Have a seat."

  Dakota pulled a chair out for him.Elizabeth opened her mouth, about to say something, just as her boyfriend, Cliff, strode over, on his way to his usual table with his football teammates."Hey," he said to our group. "How's it going?"Cliff was a large straw-haired boy with a hard jaw and muscle-packed body. A linebacker on the varsity team, his massive shoulders gave him the appearance of being about to burst from his clothes at any moment, like the Incredible Hulk.Elizabeth gave him a frosty glance, apparently still angry at him for talking to his ex. But Cliff seemed indifferent."We'll be meeting for Bible Club in room 132." His gruff, husky tenor added to the impression of contempt. "Let everyone know." His steely blue eyes shifted to Manuel, focusing on his eyebrow ring."Cliff?" Dakota said. "Meet Manuel."'"Sup?" Manuel nodded to him and Cliff replied, "You coming to Bible study this afternoon?"Elizabeth's jaw clenched at the suggestion. Mine did too."Yeah, come!" Angie cut in. "I was going to invite you.""Thanks." Manuel smiled at the offer. "I'd like to, but I've got a dentist appointment after school."Elizabeth's face relaxed, mirroring my own relief."But hey," Manuel said, "can I take a rain check?""Of course." Cliff's eyes flashed restlessly around the room. "Anytime."Elizabeth stood abruptly and said to Cliff, "Can I talk with you?"21"Yeah, sure." Cliff looked a little taken aback by her sudden change toward him. "See y'all later."Elizabeth whisked her tray off the table, leading Cliff away. After a few steps she said something to him, and he paused a moment, glancing over his shoulder at us with a hard gaze. Had Elizabeth told him about Manuel?While Angie, Dakota, and I silently watched them continue across the cafeteria, Manuel sliced into his roast beef."The food's pretty decent here," he commented, oblivious to the lunch table melodrama that had just played out.22

  Chapter 5

  BIBLE CLUB MET ON A FAIRLY LOOSE SCHEDULE, SINCE ALL OF US WERE

  HEAVILY INVOLVED IN AFTER-SCHOOL ACTIVITIES. OUR CLUB ADVISOR, VICE

  PRINCIPAL RUSSELL, LEFT US PRETTY MUCH ALONE, PROBABLY FIGURING WE

  WERE GOOD CHRISTIAN KIDS UNLIKELY TO GET INTO ANY TROUBLE.I was walking down the hall toward room 132 when Elizabeth and Cliff came from the opposite direction, murmuring in low voices."Hey!" Cliffs eyes latched onto me. "Why didn't you warn me that guy was gay?""Warn you?" "Yeah!" Cliff leaned into me. "Why were you sitting with him at lunch?"Even though Cliff was only slightly taller than me, his muscles made him seem twice as large. Nevertheless, his hostile tone annoyed me. "I didn't sit with him. He sat with us.""Same thing," Cliff sneered. "Watch out you don't get a reputation."His comment irritated me, mostly because I knew it was true. But what was I supposed to do about it?Inside the classroom, Angie and Dakota had already begun moving chairs into a circle, assisted by a half dozen other students.

  It was23a warm afternoon, and the AC had already been shut off, so I opened the windows, hoping the fresh air would help calm me down.I had always loved our school club Bible studies. I cherished the fellowship of the Spirit and valued hearing the perspectives of my friends.As everybody got settled, Angie, as the day's leader, asked Elizabeth to start us in prayer."Heavenly Father," Elizabeth began, "we ask your Holy Spirit to cleanse our hearts and open our minds to receive your Holy Word. We ask you this in Jesus' name. Amen.""Amen," everyone echoed.For our discussion, Angie had selected John 4, the story of the woman at the well. It had always been one of my favorites. I loved the image of Jesus as "living water," able to quench any thirst for all eternity.Each of us had brought his or her own Bible. I'd brought the one my ma had given me for First Communion. Over the years its leather cover had grown worn, the pages had gotten dog-eared, and countless verses had been underlined, marking my spiritual growth.Angie began reading the chapter aloud, telling how Jesus traveled to Galilee and '"had to pass through Samar'ia.'""As I researched that passage," Angie interjected, "I read a commentary that said this wasn't literally true."Cliff glanced up from his Bible, shooting a look at Angie. As a fundamentalist minister's son, he believed passionately in the inerrancy of the Bible. Anytime anyone questioned the literalness of a passage, Cliff debated it vehemently."In fact," Angie continued, "most Jewish people in Jesus' time traveled from Judea to Galilee through the Jordan Rift Valley in order to avoid passing through Samaria. They believed Samaritan people were ritually unclean and that contact with them would24render a Jewish person unclean too. So Jews went out of their way. The phrase 'He had to pass' was probably a traditional way of saying the events that transpired were no accident but happened as part of God's will."Cliff leaned back in his seat, apparently satisfied that Angie's explanation hadn't discredited Holy Scripture.Angie continued reading to us from the chapter. Jesus met a woman at Jacob's well: "Jesus said to her,

  "Give me a drink." For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food. The Samaritan woman said to him, "How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samar'ia?" For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.'""Okay." Angie paused again and her voice became animated. "I thought this was really interesting. When Jesus asked the Samaritan woman for a drink, he violated a number of ancient customs. First, that Jesus even started a conversation with a Samaritan demonstrated a rejection of Jewish mores of that time. Second, that Jesus would talk with a woman as an equal went against a culture of male superiority. Restrictions against speaking with women were so strict that a rabbi (or teacher, such as Jesus) wasn't even allowed to speak with his own wife, daughter, or sister in public. And third, that Jesus started a conversation with a woman he knew (as we'll read later) to have a bad moral reputation was even more shocking and significant. So, for Jesus to travel through Samaria and speak with and share a drinking vessel with a Samaritan woman he knew to have a bad rep put his own reputation at risk."As Angie spoke, I recalled Cliffs caution before our meeting about risking my rep through association with Manuel."What this passage says to me," Angie continued, "is how no one was--

  or is--beyond the love of Jesus, regardless of their tribe, gender, or sexuality."At the word

  "sexuality" our entire group looked up at Angie.25In the three-plus years I'd gone to Bible Club, no one had ever talked about anything remotely related to sex. Why was she bringing it up now?The silence in the room weighed so heavy I could practically hear my own heart beat.Elizabeth finally asked, "What exactly do you mean by sexuality?""Well," Angie replied, "In verse eighteen, Jesus reveals to the woman his supernatural knowledge that 'you have had five husbands, and he whom you now have is not your husband.' Clearly, this woman's love life wasn't

  'one man, one woman, till death do us part. 'Jesus knew this, and yet he reached out to her. He didn't judge her. He didn't condemn her. He didn't try to change her. Nor did he get into a scriptural debate. Instead he asked her to share a cup of water with him."Angie paused and scanned our group for reactions. I foll
owed her gaze.Cliff bent forward, muscles taut, as if about to tackle, but waiting. Meanwhile Elizabeth sat with her arms folded and her jaw set. Though obviously disturbed by Angie's interpretation, both Cliff and Elizabeth seemed unsure how to challenge it.Others in our little circle kept their eyes trained on their Bibles. Either they agreed with Angie or they were too uncertain to speak up.As for me, I wasn't exactly sure what I thought.

  This was turning out like no Bible discussion we'd had before, and the silence was making me nervous."I can see your point," I ventured, "about Jesus being accepting and nonjudgmental, but didn't he also want the woman to believe in him and change her ways?"Heads nodded eagerly in agreement. But before Angie could answer, Dakota tossed a grenade that sent the discussion in a26different direction. "So, by sexuality, would you include gay and lesbian people?"Everyone snapped to attention again. Sweat built on my forehead. It was the first time anybody had ever brought up the topic of gays in Bible Club.Angie gave a confident nod to Dakota. "I think that's consistent with the passage.""Wait a sec!" Cliff burst out. "To claim Jesus reached out to people is way different from saying he approved of them. The Bible clearly states that homosexuality is an abomination."I tensed in my seat. Thank God Manuel wasn't here. I wished I weren't either."God created Adam and Eve," Elizabeth added, "not Adam and Steve."Without missing a beat Dakota asked, "Then who created Steve?"Elizabeth smirked at the question. "If people hear the Word of God and keep sinning, they're not believers.""They're wolves in sheep's clothing,"